“So, what do you do with crystals? How do you use them?” These are questions I am frequently asked, and they are some of my favorites. Simply put, aside from meditating with my stones and keeping them all throughout my environment, there are many ways I see them now being incorporated across so many platforms – in candles, makeup production processes (looking at you, Glossier Haloscope!), and home décor like bookends or coasters. I’ve compiled my all-time preferred ways to feature crystals into daily life in simple, beautiful, modern ways that make it easy to take positive vibes with you through every step of your day
With a love that runs deep for how empowering, striking and energetically inspiring crystals are, I decided to marry my desire to create with the sheer adoration for the metaphysical into wearable, delicate crystal pieces. My line of jewelry is, like me, forever evolving, embracing the constant hunt for balance and personal growth while maintaining a strong vision of self-expression. Thus far, they have brought me nothing but joy, and I absolutely love designing pieces that can stand on their own, or blend well with each other as well as unique pieces from your own collection.
There has been a whole lot of hype buzzing around the beauty industry for Jade face rollers, as Jade has long been treasured throughout Chinese tradition as maintaining the ability to draw out negative energy, embodying overall physical vitality and emotional well-being. Jade is also ideal for heart chakra opening, boosting prosperity and bringing good luck. Ever since I spotted them gracing the headlines of all my major beauty blogs, I had to add one to my crystal kit. These bad boys are beneficial for smoothing out fine lines and wrinkles, reducing puffiness and inflammation, and generally making your face feel supremely awake and relaxed simultaneously while you give yourself a daily facial massage. I keep mine in the refrigerator for an added morning wake-up boost, using it just after moisturizing at the start of the day.
While scrolling through social media, I recently discovered the most stunning comb I’ve ever seen. I literally gasped – was that Rose Quartz? Anyone who knows me can essentially target me as one who can never have too much of this dreamy pink stone. Upon reading about the process taken to create these gorgeous pieces, I expressed zero self-control and knew I wanted to take my self-care to the next level. In working with my crystal comb, I found an entirely new way to work on releasing heart chakra tensions through connecting truly to my highest Self. The process of meditating with this stone not only allowed me to relax further and enjoy my end-of-day routine, but completely opened my crown chakra so that I could physically feel the strands of my tangled heartstrings to find another release. The comb kit contained so many personal, extraordinary little details, including the accompaniment of a Key Affirmation stating: “The past is healed. I open myself to love and light. I am love.” After using it several times, I have found an additional tool to drive more of a centered flow of energy to enter and escape, while focusing primarily on self-love to regularly refill my Thank Bank.
One of my favorite places on the planet is the magical realm of Spellbound Sky. Located in Los Angeles and donned in disco balls accompanied by a six-foot unicorn, it has always been my primary source for everything ritualistic – from crystals, candles, jewelry and the forever essential oil potions. Made in-store using an unscented coconut oil base, each specific potion is thoughtfully created using a layer of well composed oils with a handful of specific crystals to further raise the vibration of each fragrance. My personal selections are the Diamond Life, infused with clove, frankincense and Quartz crystals to amplify intentions – and because, let’s be honest, who doesn’t want a Diamond life? And my other major choice being Love Force (obviously), filled with Rose Quartz, ylang ylang, rose and sandalwood essential oils.
The quickest, easiest and most glamorous way I’ve found to bring crystals into everyday life is by wearing them. My arm candy is always evolving and changing based on my mood, where I am in life, what I want in a particular day, or simply by what makes me feel most inspired. My go-to bracelet Guru is Wax & Wane Jewelry, as the quality, variety and style is totally unparalleled of anywhere I’ve found. Dean has literally hundreds of styles, shapes and sizes, sourcing the best beads from all over the world and is an absolute joy to work with. I have adopted countless pieces for my collection over the past several years and am always finding new ways to mix-and-match according to my energy each day and gifting them regularly. The stack I am currently crushing on has a Ruby centerpiece embodying passion, confidence, goal setting and encouraging the visualization process. I paired that with two Herkimer Diamond bracelets, each an extremely high vibrational stone used for gaining guidance from spirit guides, spiritual evolution and accessing the true purpose of your soul. These three are sandwiched between two Garnets, one of my all-time favorite energies to work with, embracing a passionate, motivated mindset to spark a flame to kick down goals while keeping you grounded so you don’t burn out. This combo also has a little bit of a sexy vibe, to keep confidence levels high and the productivity train moving!
With so many ways to introduce crystals into your life, the most important way to remember is you must choose the path that inspires you, noting there is no way to do it wrong. As many or as few different ways you utilize them, it can be beneficial both to have a directed stream of focus or a colorful array of energies – whichever route feels most harmonious to you in the moment. Embrace the energies that feel right, encouraging, comforting, energizing, protecting, and any others which speak to you. Trust your intuition, and let unlimited possibilities be your guide.
This week on Horoscope.com, I tackled one of the most magic-inspiring, power-prevailing, mesmerizing stones to exist: Labradorite.
As the seasons shift and summer rapidly approaches, we start dwelling on ideas and looking for inspiration on what adventure to take next. Is there something calling you? Do you feel there’s a greater purpose to your life you’ve yet to discover? Are you seeking a new journey? Are you stuck?
Labradorite is a stone which taps into your spirit of adventure, urging you to activate your own personal power and create your own magic. The Inuits believed the Northern Lights were encapsulated within it, as the duality of yellow fire and turquoise ice exist within each unique stone. It allows you to think outside the box, take the path less traveled, and hone into discovering what makes you individually you. Labradorite encourages you to explore your potential, teaching you to think creatively and get inspired by life and recognize it offers unlimited possibilities, you just need to open yourself up to them. It is a high-vibrational stone which awakens your psychic ability and charge full-steam ahead on the manifestation train, shielding you from outside negative forces and drawing in extraordinary changes to your life. It is not for the faint of heart, but rather the free-spirited.
For those ready to undertake a new venture or voyage, Labradorite grants you the permission to go out and discover the world – no matter how deeply invested you are into one path. I once met two men in their 70’s during my second year of university, who had lived a nearly full life already, who were taking an introduction to anthropology course. When I asked what made them want to go back to school, they explained that they never got tired of learning, and they were always shamelessly ready for the next chapter. Oftentimes when I hear people saying they’ve made their life’s choices and there’s no redirecting, I wish I could introduce them to my elderly risk-taking friends. As humans, we are constantly evolving based around every little decision we make within every moment. So simply because the adopted norm is to pick a path and stick to it, we’re supposed to be married to a singular way of living for the rest of our lives? Furthermore, we are expected to expect that we will never evolve away from loving that path somewhere along the way, never growing bored of it or longing for something else? That’s ludicrous! This is why I love the childlike spirit of the Labradorite energy: it encourages you to access that spontaneous thought pattern you had when you were younger and knew you had the potential to do literally anything you wanted to do. You didn’t ever believe you couldn’t become a veterinarian, or a firefighter, or a space explorer, or a unicorn – you tapped into the vibration of your true, limitless soul, recognizing you held the power to make it so, if you chose it. Who’s to say you can’t take an anthropology class in your 70’s? They were the unicorns.
Labradorite is a stone ideal to keep in your workspace, on your nightstand, or to take in your pocket daily – it creates a feeling of liberation that takes the over-analytical logistics out of your decision making. Ultimately, when we start to question whether or not we can do something, it comes down to a subconscious level of whether or not we believe we are worthy of it. If you were to take a minute, right now, and close your eyes, visualizing any place in the world you could be, any career that exists (or has yet to), whatever car excites you most in the world, the ideal partner you could be with – is there a feeling that follows? Can you follow the root of that feeling and determine if it’s total excitement or if it’s a sinking feeling? Now, if it’s the latter, stop right here. Ask yourself, why did I just deny myself the ability to have what I most want? The more we can access that little voice who denies us our visions, the more we can objectify it and tell it to move along when it rings. Do not answer, your life is calling! Why is the person next to you any more worthy to have that job you want? To go on that vacation? To move to Fiji? To date that babe who makes your coffee in the morning? Access that part of you who knows you are worthy – who believes you deserve it – who loves you unconditionally. Appreciate, value and adore yourself. Make your own magic, build your own castle, and bring your dreams into daily life.
What are crystals? I hopped over to Horoscope.com to lend my expertise on what crystals are, what they do, why we care, and how to use them. Keep scrolling for more! xx
I am frequently approached with the question, “I’m new to this whole crystal thing – how do they work?” and my answer is simple: think of anything that exists – your body, your cat, trees, water, the stars… they are all made up of energy. Within each entity exists microscopic atoms firing off bursts of energy in all different directions, their electrons buzzing around in their own signature pattern interacting with the world around them. Now, each and every individual crystal (or compound for that matter) has its own inimitable energetic frequency, and that energy aligns in a unique way to the energy you are exuding and absorbing at any given moment. In tapping into each frequency, you connect with different stones in different ways – just as you would to different people, animals and nature. Crystals are powerful healing tools that can be used to direct, amplify, store, transmute and channel energy.
Crystals have long been acknowledged for their influence, as they hold the capacity to heal, connect, protect, transform and manifest energy. Crystals are amazing because they are formed in nature over time from several hundreds of thousands to millions of years ago. They have survived the incredible pressure of severe storms, volcanic eruptions, ice ages, and many more natural disasters – these gems should be cherished for the true treasures they are. There is even a cave in Navajun, Spain where Pyrite forms naturally in nearly perfect cubes, which is mesmerizingly mind-bending!
Scientifically speaking, we know that energetic frequencies exist within stones – in fact, all varieties of matter contain their own unique subatomic signature in frequency. Without Quartz Crystal, we wouldn’t have the spectacular advancements in technology through its use in computers and timing devices to name just a few. Stones such as Shungite, a carbon-based mineral that was discovered in Russia, have lots of scientific backing and even published books commending it for its purification and physical cleansing properties.
Over time, crystals store an amazing amount of energy, and sometimes that energy can become dense, stagnant or heavy and needs to be cleared out from inside the stones. Through smudging, we can use sacred smoke to aid releasing pent-up energy trapped within them. I prefer burning Sage with lavender or Palo Santo to cleanse my stones, and do it as often as I feel is necessary for me. So, if I have a particularly stressful week or hectic day, I tend to cleanse my stones to release any energies that don’t serve me. This practice consists of lighting the Sage or Palo Santo bundle, blowing out the flame, and distributing the smoke over your stones while setting the intention of letting go of any unwanted energies, while pulling in positive ones.
The best way to truly tap into that energetic frequency and align with it is by meditating with each stone. Through meditation, you are heightening your conscious awareness and opening yourself up to become more receptive to the absorption of higher energetic frequencies. I found that the quickest and most memory-efficient way for me to work with stones was by choosing one at a time to meditate with twice a day for at least a week. Through this practice, I would write down experiences, breakthroughs and any other notable encounters as I worked with the stone, including any ripple effects that came days later. This also came down to what work I was wanting to do, and honing in on where I was feeling blocked.
Usually, the different colors of crystals are oriented with a primary matching color chakra, for example Blue Lace Agate and Lapis Lazuli are primarily throat chakra stones, so I would choose something in that wheelhouse when having difficulty speaking my mind or finding my voice. Other chakras can align with multiple stones like Green Tourmaline and Pink Calcite, which both align with the heart chakra despite being different colors based on their energetic frequency similarities.
Typically, in the crystal world you can loosely divide stones into two major categories: action stones and what I like to call dreamy stones. The action stones get your butt moving, kicking procrastination and excuses out of the way, calling on you to make magic happen and go out there to accomplish goals. The dreamy stones are more introspective, transformational and benefit self-discovery, healing and nurturing that is necessary for personal evolution and spiritual growth. Through using these stones, we find we can release old patterns, forge new paths and find courage to step into a new chapter of life. Crystals have helped me tap into memories I had forgotten, past traumas I had buried, and opened doors to become vulnerable and confident to evolve into a more conscious, present person. There is real magic involved, but you need to believe it to see it.
I recently featured a post on Horoscope.com focusing on changing you luck and manifesting what you really want by directing your intentions in the most productive way. Keep reading to get inspired and motivate yourself for a big life change!
It’s that tax season time of year again, where everyone is doing their best to get inspired and re-motivate themselves to chase the goals they set for the new year. One of my favorite rituals when I need a little income boost is compiling a toolkit of manifestation stones to fully immerse myself in shifting my vibration to receive abundance from all angles. This starts by ensuring I’m opening all doors, and committing to the belief that I am allowing myself to receive gifts from the Universe, no matter where they come from – because you don’t know what you don’t know.
This crystal arsenal includes:
Pyrite– the ultimate for manifestation and high-vibe action-packed energy, this stone ignites a spark within to turn your thoughts into things, instilling an “I got this” attitude to embody self-confidence to kick down goals and prioritize forward progression.
Citrine– ideal for motivated, direct action, this crystal inspires your creative imagination to make the most of every opportunity while thinking outside the box in order to attract workflow and prosperity.
Peridot– your lucky charm, known for its protective ability to attract abundance, good fortune and good luck.
Malachite– often called the Traveler’s Stone to keep you safe from accidents, this stone acts as a powerful tool for planting a seed to grow, evolve and succeed in business and boost your wealth.
Aventurine– shifts your vibration with money from that of lack, stress or fear, honing instead on optimism and excitement for life, aiding in feeling empowered to shift into new situations for those who want to manifest a greater stream of income.
Now – you can choose as many or as few of these as you feel drawn to, bearing in mind there is no wrong answer! Once I’ve collected an assortment of these stones, I grab a ritual candle (green is key for top-of-mind money flow) and build a little crystal nest around it, laying out my list of affirmations in front of the candle. This list should include everything you wish to receive in result of burning the candle, and you can be as specific as you like. I try to focus first on anything I want to release that could be standing in my way of being open to receive these things, like “money panic” or “worry about work”. Then I start listing things that I do want, and even print out photos if there’s a specific vacation destination I want to go to, or number I want to picture in my bank account. Read your list of intentions out loud, and do your best to exude genuine excitement and anticipation that you will receive exactly what you’re asking for, also channeling that feeling of relief in knowing that you are supported, guided and loved by the Universe. I promise you I have had enormous success in doing these little manifestation rituals, including successfully launching my jewelry line, getting approved on the house I live in, and facilitating the means for more travel in my life. With the help of these little crystals, I got the encouragement I needed to believe these things would be mine. If you can dream it, you can do it – and nobody can stop you from that but you.
Aside from the ritual work, these lucky stones are ideal to carry throughout the day or place around your workspace (or wherever you want to be productive) for perpetuating year-round prosperity. Be mindful, working with one is always enough, and never underestimate the power of your own thought. Belief is everything, and feeling worthy and ready for making your dreams happen is the underlying principle to make it all work – the crystals are a tool to help get you there. If I had to choose only one to start with from that success kit, it would be the Pyrite – because that energy means serious business, and refuses to let you procrastinate your success any longer. Sit down, do the work, practice your visualization, and get excited. You got this! Now go get ‘em, tiger.
My latest post for Horoscope.com is all about the surge of Goddess energy through this Feminine wave we've all been riding for the past year and a half, and how to tap into it and inspire yourself to communicate more clearly and feel empowered.
In connecting with this energy, I wanted to feature the gorgeous energy of Chrysocolla, a total Goddess energy stone used for going with the flow and connecting to your vulnerable side to lift yourself (and one other) up.
Have a read or scroll below, leave a comment and let me know what you think!
Feminine energy is all-embracing, all-welcoming and all-empowering. Often misconstrued for weak or submissive, it is in fact powerful, courageous, nurturing, generous and gently creates an open space for all.
Chrysocolla is a Goddess energy stone, its cerulean to emerald hues vibrantly likening itself to the turquoise colors of the Earth, optimal for opening a limitless flow of communication. Delicate in its strength, Chrysocolla aids those of us with challenges speaking our mind, invoking energies of empowerment as we are called to rise up and say what we feel, and believe what we say.
Over the passing year, which has not been without its trials, I have noticed an abundance of my clients gravitating heavily toward Chrysocolla, focusing intently on bringing a lot more feminine energy into their life. Through this increasing wave of feminism, I have noted many men (and women) are no longer shying away from their emotions and instead choosing open vulnerability. While inquiring deeper, they seem to be hoping to release any remnants of implanted toxic masculinity that has long labored our society and cultural conforms. Luckily, amidst turbulent times, there comes a revolution of tolerance, curiosity, support and communication. We, as a global community, are now refusing to accept judgments that separate us, and are more inclined to actively listen and appreciate the collective willingness to objectify and no longer tolerate inequality, ineptitude or ignorance. In allowing anyone to upset us throughout our day, we are consciously choosing to release our power over our own emotions. Thus, whoever you allow to anger you, owns you.
Chrysocolla eliminates thinking patterns rooted in fear, releases blockages deep within your throat chakra, encouraging you to understand your feelings so that you can communicate them openly and freely. It reduces feelings of guilt, judgment or worry of failure, heightening your sense of awareness and inspiring you to own your power. Chrysocolla creates stability throughout your life, by helping you relinquish destructive habits to make space and increase your capacity to love openly. As a writer and a person who enjoys having many creative outlets, I work with Chrysocolla regularly to ensure that I’m giving myself as much gratitude as I send to those I admire. A key component of communicating successfully is the cultivation of kindness, which is best demonstrated through empowering one another. By directing the love we have for ourselves outward, to the Universe, your neighbor, your grocer, your friends, to those who tangle your nerves – the more you allow yourself to receive. At times it may take patience, but spends much less energy and leaves you more fulfilled. Through compassionate communication, you are not only holding respect and demonstrating true presence to the other party, but you are honoring and respecting yourself, and raising your stream of consciousness.
So daily, what can you do? Work on you, confidently and without judgment, without fear, without reluctance. You can look in the mirror and mindfully highlight all the little things that make you uniquely perfect. You can start a gratitude journal to list ten things daily that you love about yourself. You can reach out to a friend who inspires you, and express to them know how thankful you are to have them in your life. You can stop a stranger in the street and let them know how killer their shoes are, demonstrating you admire their confidence. These small daily rituals are entirely doable and instill new habits that can realign deep-set patterns. It encourages you to release judgments or insecurities of yourself and others, and instead of instantly spotting the things that create differences, highlight that which calls on us to grow. By watering this little love ritual each day, we can quickly see how much we flourish in embodying the Goddess within.
This year is all about pushing myself out of my comfort zone, which includes the seizing of unique opportunities that present themselves with open doors.
I am now excited to announce I am a proud contributor of Horoscope.com, where every two weeks I will be sharing my insight and advice on how to let go of old habits, release invisible road blocks, manifest your dreams, and love yourself without fear.
I'm so thrilled for this new collaboration! You can check out my first article all about self-love here or read it below.
I’m Margaux Perrier: Paris born, Los Angeles dwelling, Gemini-Cancer cusp with a Leo rising. My passions span design, art, gemstones, literature, travel, wardrobe and above-all, writing. Crystals are a major aspect of my life.
Several years ago, while wandering a farmer’s market with my mother, I shared with her how much I’d been feeling career stagnation. Moments later, a vibrant turquoise stone caught my attention from a nearby booth – calling to me and demanding I pick it up and take it home. Pages of research later, its properties were described particularly for writers needing to release creative and communicative blockages. I was hooked, and promptly dove down the metaphysical rabbit hole. I have since found colossal joy in learning about crystals and helping others find their ideal stone based on where they are in life. To this day I continue my work, intimately encouraging so many people to tap into their vulnerability and push beyond imaginary boundaries to actualize their aspirations. I always leave feeling inspired to personally evolve.
We each hold within ourselves the power to create something more, something exciting, simply by changing our mind – by shifting where our energy is sent. Instead of focusing our forces outward, we must remember how vital it is to direct them inward.
Self-love is so important and so often forgotten. Rather than prioritizing it, we carelessly let it tag along, never pausing to wonder if it can keep up with our comparisons. We allow those low-vibration feelings to bleed in before filling ourselves with appreciation, empowerment and inexorable love. By tapping into the energies of specific frequencies given off from certain stones, we can understand the patterns of behavior we willingly let rule our lives. Without unconditional love for myself, I found I was more insecure and judgmental of the world around me, lacking the confidence I knew was lying dormant beneath the surface with increasing impatience.
Is it intentional? Do we self-sabotage subconsciously? Maybe it doesn’t make us weak admitting we must heal first to make big changes, introspectively beginning with self-love.
Enter: Rose Quartz. Energetically and visually dreamy, it is the crystal most scattered around my house that I never feel guilty buying and dosing up on. It is love, uninhibited. It is tension release, compassionate communication, gentle, nurturing, and powerful. It provides the confidence through vulnerability to overcome that which stands in our way while offering an energetic hug. It shatters deeply embedded road blocks within the heart chakra, including destructive stories that we commit to so strongly – like critical perceptions of self-worth, which we all struggle with in some way. Rose Quartz eliminates the excuses you give yourself not to have self-gratitude and appreciate how genuinely perfect you are. It is a mirror to reflect judgments, fears and insecurities, simply spotlighting that none of those things exist, nothing surrounding you would be here, if not for you choosing them. So why not release the unworthy things that stand in the way of effortless happiness, and embrace love?
With the population continuing to migrate to Los Angeles, and rental increase hiking up every few months, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out on a lot of space. But how can we feel like we’re living in a spacious paradise instead of cramped quarters? Opting for a small apartment can be much more fun and reasonable than you might think at first glance!
Take it from me: when I quit my full-time live in nanny job a few years ago, I was freaking out. I mean I was in a PANIC! I had no idea where I was going to live. It wasn’t until two of my nearest and dearest girlfriends offered for me to come crash in their little one-bedder in central Hollywood. Now, we had previously spent a month or two with four of us shoved into a small Silverlake studio, so we were definitely familiar and comfortable with each other! Besides, we were in our early 20’s, so, you know -- who gives a shit about space when you’re that age? I moved a whole lotta stuff into the storage unit I had rented, and somehow hoisted the rest of my “necessities” (I really could have downsized, here) into the back of my Jeep. Keep in mind, the two girls I was moving in with were both super creative, innovative, and inventive - so the apartment they had recently moved into was filled with projects and inspiring DIY’s everywhere. We realized that the walk-in closet (as far as apartments go, this one is a unicorn for the amount of closet space spared) was empty enough for me to move into.
Yeah. I know what you’re thinking - I heard those thoughts: A closet?! Yes! A freaking closet. I had to make do, so I decided (before I arrived) that it was going to be an adventure, and I felt gracious and lucky enough to be able to move in, so any of that picky judgy shit didn’t have any room to even breathe or manifest --- I was EXCITED. Seriously. I was pumped. I couldn’t wait to basically have 24/7 slumber parties with two of my best friends. And that closet I mentioned essentially became the “Harry Potter Nook”, equipped with fairy lights, airy white curtains bolstered around the ceiling, walls filled with my treasure-trove of beloved clothing, and my mattress squeezed right through the door and had the perfect amount of breathing room to fit. I’m not kidding.
As soon as we decked it out and my Cat nestled in, they were both like, “OMG! I want to sleep in here!” And it was the best nights sleep of my life, every night - because it was pitch black and ultra-quiet, which are two things you can pretty much eliminate in 90% of LA apartments. Several nights a week we would all snuggle in and watch old movies like Butch Cassidy or Sabrina, feeling lucky to be surrounded by love and support and creativity and living our own dreams collectively in Hollywoodland. It was amazing. After we set up “The Nook”, we continued with more projects - like painting the bathroom fixtures, decorating the kitchen, hunting for flea-market gems, and we even found a set of antique white wooden doors that we hinged to the living room floor to create a separate “bedroom space” for Katherine. It was seriously the greatest time of my life. I have so many happy, fun memories of when I lived in that little nook - one of which includes the time I fell in love. Yes, I fell in love in a closet. And now that it’s just me and my man living in this “big old apartment”, each time I go into the walk-in, I take a moment to look around and fill myself with gratitude for it. That closet changed my life. (Need I say that it was also the mentality and energy I chose to focus on, too?) Besides - now that I am where I am, I know that later in life as I opt for and can afford larger spaces, I’ll look back and reminisce, and appreciate what I have so much more. It’s all about perspective.
So besides my own personal experience, here are a few reasons I’ve sourced up for why living in small quarters ain’t so bad:
For starters, it’s cozy. Which means you don’t need to spend as much money paying for furniture and stuff to shove inside of it so that you can get that “cozy homey” feel in a much larger square footage. *Bonus to coziness is when fall and winter roll around - throwing in some extra blankets and pillows really make you feel AT HOME! Bonus to the Bonus: you can buy one candle and it’ll fill the entire space.
Secondly, it’s easy to clean. Sure, you may have purchased more bookshelves and wall shelves to put your assorted books, plants and crystal collections on, but overall - when you have to “speed clean” because you’re taking a date home, or your parents sprung a surprise trip on you, it literally is a speed clean.
Third, you’ll take better care of what you have. Anything that’s out of place or starting to wear-down, you’ll notice much faster and feel a sense of home-pride to take care of and tend to. Not only furniture, but washing dishes, putting clothes away (yes, we all know that chair that gets toppled over each week when you throw your pants off after work), watering the plants, the list goes on. Otherwise your place will be a disaster, so it forces you to be more responsible, caring, and conscious of your surroundings.
Next, you will love entertaining people just as much as you would with a mansion. OK - yeah, the mansion would be ideal. But what’s the rush? The amount of times we’ve invited friends over to hang on the roof (yep, cheap rent and small space also sometimes comes with a killer rooftop view of the entire city) and drink some wine, play board games, watch movies, and it feels more intimate and casual than putting in so much money and time and effort that I’ve seen friends and family members run around doing before they have “company”. Regardless if you have seating for a couple people or you load up on floor cushions (they sell these at Urban Outfitters or World Market), it’s easier for your friends to feel at home and it’s a more lively environment.
Finally, and again, it’ll save you money. Of course you’ll be spending less for rent and utilities, but it forces you to recognize spending habits by wondering “Do I actually have space for that?” which makes you question if you really love, want, and need it. I’ve noticed I am much more mindful in the planning of what a room or space will look like, what artwork I invest in, what furniture pieces make sense, and how to lay out the Feng Shui so that there isn’t any stagnant energy in the apartment. So this *should* result in you having less things than you ordinarily would, and then the value you place on those things goes up. WIN-WIN!
One of the simplest, quickest ways to bring your space to life is with some greenery. Whether it’s a large palm, some fresh flowers, or a succulent window garden - it absolutely livens the room, creates a homey feel, and there are even some environmental benefits of simply adding a plant.
Speaking of Sanctuaries, you can also create some quick aromatherapy in your bathroom by using some butcher’s twine and scooping up some eucalyptus from Home Depot or lavender from your local farmer’s market and weaving it around the back of your showerhead. The steam will naturally infuse the plants and you’ll instantly be relaxed and feeling zen.
I’ve seen several nests where people incorporate lots of dried up flowers, but for me, that just makes it feel like an old, unkept, dusty antique shop or like I’m surrounded by death. Especially if they’re kept in an old glass or under a frame. Having something breathing life and releasing its oxygen and removing toxic air vapors. Numerous studies also show that being around plants while studying or working boost your concentration, productivity, and memory up to 20%.
There’s also plenty of pot design you can feel creative with - you could use some masking tape to create geometric shapes and spray paint them gold, you could splatter paint them, give them a little bit of a 14th century vibe by coating them with paint and chipping it away, or you could simplify and modernize them by just going for solid white ceramic.
Hanging plants also create some levels to rooms with high ceilings that may otherwise look bare, or bring a new energy to a kitchen space or reading area in the living room. *Bonus if you have pets, it’ll keep them out of reach!*
Honestly, if you’re like me… opting for something very low maintenance like succulents or cacti are your best bet. I’ve created several succulent gardens and placed them in my windows, on shelves, and in places they receive plenty of fresh air and sunlight. Plus, I’ve added a few crystals on top of the soil for extra good vibes ~
I'm a firm believer that colour is an absolute necessity in any space. Yes, while the argument still stands that simplicity is truly beautiful -- the one way to add diversity to any home, office, or workplace is truly kept in colour.
Whether you're headed for tonal bookshelves, a turquoise kitchen, or creating a central moment in the lounge room, you can paint an old desk in need of an upgrade, reupholster a piece of furniture you've fallen out of love with, or modernize a painting you've picked up at a flea market.
In my mid-20s crisis overhaul, I've decided upon one strict rule that I refuse to bend on: I have to be obsessed with every piece that enters my home. A notebook, teacup, art piece, even down to the crystals, the pens, and even my beloved typewriter. Each item needs a purpose, even if that purpose is just to make me incandescently happy when I pick it up or spot it on my way out the door in the morning. By creating this rule and abiding by it, you are also limiting yourself to only seeking the best items -- and other than the obvious benefit of limiting unnecessary spending, you're also allowing yourself the space and freedom and permission to have a treasure hunt to create that beautiful nest you're always cozying into at the end of the day.
Riding the productivity wave can often feel like you’re being dragged up a flight of stairs, unsure if you’re going reluctantly against your will, or tiptoeing blindly around dark corners being led by your intuition.
One minute you’re feeling the pull of creativity - dying to get it all out, heart to page, metaphorically bleeding onto the canvas, pouring your heart out.
Then in a split second, as soon as you hit the chair, everything stops. The creativity goes quiet, leaving you trapped, constricted by the inner-judgments of your own ego, wondering why you bothered to get out of bed at 3 in the morning.
I’ve heard many people enjoy the phrase “Art is War”, as though it’s some profound platitude that’s shattered their mind’s Matrix.
While it can indeed feel like a tug-of-war just to get yourself to sit down and DO, I feel that this saying very clearly, and very deeply, carries a seriously negative connotation. Of course, anything that’s thought to be a war, suggests there is something to defeat; and to some degree, I can agree with the conquering of your own distractions as a feat to be celebrated - but do we really need to think of it as an unnecessary, pain-stakingly destructive blood bath?
Is it really that chaotic and horrible to overcome our instinctual laziness with a willpower to create?
When I thought I would write a blog post about procrastination, my eyes rolled so far back into my head that I actually laughed out loud. I will literally do anything I can to avoid having to sit in front of this screen, if I have the chance. But by building the habit and refusing to cave and give into the senseless chatter of the ego, those moments where the inspiration to create taps on my shoulder or whispers in my ear are becoming much more frequent. You really just have to open the door. Saying things like “I’ll do it when I have more time”, or “I’m too tired”, or “Maybe later” are doing such a disservice to yourself, and to the world. Because you’re instead choosing to vibrate on a frequency of the negatives - of the doubt, the worry, the fear, the exhaustion - which is exactly what you’re exuding to those around you. By refusing to accept defeat and becoming excited, curious, and prepared to sit and make something out of nothing, the vibration shifts: you start sending off vibrations of success, gratitude, happiness. In short, you are opening more doors than closing the first one you have to walk through.
Junot Diaz said, “The whole culture is telling you to hurry, while the art tells you to take your time. Always listen to the art.” In an age where you can tap into any stranger’s stream of consciousness on any corner of the planet, we are faced with the new challenge of compare and contrast. Is my life better than hers? Because I have less followers does that make me less-than? Does anyone really want to know what I have to say when a hundred other people are talking? If we want to contain our sanity, we must support ourselves through the trenches by listening to the only voice that matters among the others: persistence.
I’d like to believe that the process each and every creator goes through is like a very patient hike through the mountains. Sure, there’s procrastination, frustration, impatience, maybe some fury and self-hate. But this is where the important part lies, and the learning comes in. Without the work and the triumphs through the trials, we are unable to grow, expand, and fill our own shoes that we set out to step into before we even got here. That mountain doesn’t need to be Everest, though I’m sure at times it will feel like it is. You cannot sprint, or you'll lose your energy and burn out. You cannot wish you had the person's legs who is climbing next to you, because you're stuck with your own and you need them to carry you to the top. You cannot use all your resources at once. You must have patience and confidence in your abilities and your strengths. The more steps you take, the further along you’re getting - if you choose to call defeat, you might as well curl up into a little ball and roll all the way back down the hill into your dark pity corner. Recognize the strength and the power of your own soul, give yourself credit where it’s due. Inside all of us exists an enormous potential - we just need to choose what to do with it.
Do we choose to ignore it? To simply lay back and recline into servitude and “what’s easy”? Or do we choose to challenge ourselves into curiosity for what more is out there for the taking, the exploring, the conquering? It shouldn’t have to be a war. It should be an adventure.
It should be exciting and exhilarating and wonderful in its wonderment of the “is this going to work? is this what I want?” as the fear fades into trust, evolving into confidence, resulting in producing some seriously badass work.
*And as a secret - it's always going to work, if you see no other way but for it to work.
Throughout our lifetime, we face all sorts of situations that wake us up, alter our perception of the world, and lend us guidance as we navigate the waters of who we truly believe we are.
Then there are the experiences we are forced to take into our “learning repertoire” as we are thrown into icy cold waters without a life vest, challenging us beyond comprehension. Floating alone in the deep end, we realize we are faced with three options: we either flee, freeze, or fight. Do you sink to the bottom, slowly drowning? Swim for your life without any sense of direction? Or are you prepared to raise your chin and your fists and take the challenge head-on?
Up to a certain point, I had gained a sort of cockiness - believing I had experienced enough to really be able to handle anything without being too violently shaken. I was wrong. Obtaining sexual assault into my training arsenal was not something I was prepared to collect. There was a certain Garden of Eden I had obliviously existed within that I hadn't realized was a part of me until I was robbed of it.
I was wrong. I was raped.
Just typing that word allows the floodgates to burst open. Every fiber of my being instantly imagines it all again as though it’s a current memory. My throat is tightening… insides clench into themselves… a quiver is sent from my fingertips to the base of my neck… stomach descends into oblivion. I can feel it all again: the fear taking over, until the assiduously trained lion-heart courage steps in to take over, proudly interjecting, “Strength, darling one. Strength is your choice. Own it now. Believe it.”
I have the distinct theory and understanding that this incident was no coincidence. It was not the wrong place wrong time, though it would be something I happily would exchange with a great many other participations.
Through this, I recognize that I have a voice. I have a platform through rapidly paced typing, expansive syntax, and indestructible wit by virtue of the art of storytelling.
I have identified my role to relay this story to the cosmos, powerfully and nonjudgmentally with a rejection to succumb to another’s interjection of my personal boundaries.
I present myself open-heartedly through honest vulnerability in order for other girls to bloom and flourish.
To manifest women the ability to recognize the colossal strength within to reclaim ownership over their bodies, their spirits, their lives.
To free the space in their mind for greater things.
To encourage empowerment through learning, progressing, accepting and above-all: refusing to be controlled by any man through the perception of power.
The greatest power we all own and obtain exists within. It is innate. It is tough and magnificent and resolute and fucking fierce because it is personal. It is ours. It can only be given away by choice, not taken away by force.
Through this, I vow to share my story, encouraging the empowerment of all empresses across the ether, near and far, to choose to keep their power through the acknowledgment and understanding that they are supported, they are loved, and they are each a unique goddess with a vigorous, inextinguishable flame which can never be dismissed or diminished.
For weeks I had been stalked. Followed, by a seemingly friendly face simply tagging along. Hunted deliberately, by someone perceivably harmless to a celebratory going away party before I embarked on my journey to another country to explore and have many adventures with my new love. Many of us were scheduled to arrive together at our old piano bar to make memories and share laughs over drinks to make up for the upcoming absence. He joined in, as anyone within our shared courtyard was welcome to enjoy the festivities.
The night was wrapping up, tabs were closed, gradually they left, one by one, until only a small handful remained. Roommate number one went home in a cab. Roommate number two took her scooter home with all the belongings in my purse aside from my keys. My car remained in the nearby parking lot where I left it before my work-shift. “I’ll walk with you,” he said, “My car is there, too.”
But that’s not what happened. He preyed on the moment that I created from a series of stacked dominos which one-by-one cumulated into the perfect storm of vulnerability.
Forcing me onto him, into my own car, he assaulted me. Shoving himself into me, he assaulted me. Growling and gripping and digging and pinning and trapping and biting, he violated me. A seemingly friendly face, morphed just as quickly as he came, into that of a monster. With a villainous smirk, he left me cold and shivering and alone in the back of my car, my bruised and abused body. I didn’t want it anymore. I wanted to curl inside myself and die. To perish away as I heaved and sobbed in the backseat of my freshly tampered safe space. I vomited, two or three times, cursing myself, hating myself, wondering how I let this happen to me. How a beautiful night mutated so violently.
I didn’t see him for four years.
Four years I managed to never brush shoulders or bump elbows in this big city.
Enough for the bruises to recover and my mind to rest assured.
I didn’t see him for four years, until last week.
I walked into the grocery store with my man, briskly dividing and conquering, eager to grab some food for lunch, when I spotted him.
There he was.
Carrying his shopping bags out the door - with her. Her who. It didn’t matter who. I didn’t need to know her to want to help her. To sprint out the door, shouting stay away, stay away - he’s a barbarian, stay the fuck away. I wanted to help her. My first instinct was to help.
Instead I froze, ducking slightly behind the fruit-stand. He didn’t see me.
I became aware of myself. My head spun. Black splotches coated my vision as I whirled around, frantically searching for my sea-legs. All of the feelings rushed back, all at once. Violated. Afraid. Nauseated. Pins, needles, cold sweats.
I felt my body shutting down, debating whether to faint, vomit or cry. I felt the hysterics welling up.
Where was my man? Where was Iain? Frantically I reached around, grabbing at any surface nearby, navigating blindly through the store. Avoiding strangers, I bumped a little too close into a display, sending a sea of vegetables onto the aisle floor. I left my body for a minute, watching above as the frantic, discombobulated girl on the ground helped a stranger pick the tomatoes up, making muddled conversation, hectically searching for my soul one. I needed help.
He was there - grabbing a bottle of water. There he was: the love of my life - my light, my rock. In all his gentle, protective glory, with fear in his eyes as he saw my pale, shaken face. It’s nothing, it’s nothing, we have to go, I said. We have to go to the car. A new car. A new car without imprinted memories of assault. The same car I fearfully lost my virginity in ten years prior. A new car, representing safety and a fresh start.
I collapsed in his arms, shivering as a tsunami of tears erupted into his sleeves. What happened? What happened? He wondered, quickly shifting to Where is he? Where the fuck is he?
It wasn’t worth it. The jail time. The deportation. The energy. The vibration. He let me cry in his arms as he channeled as much loving strength as he could, pumping it from his lion heart to mine. You must be brave, he said, lifting my chin. You are strong. You are. You choose where your strength lives - in there. Nobody owns that but you.
I gathered myself, refusing to give in again. Refusing to admit fault, blame, or shame.
Sinister, creepy, weak men often prey on those they see as the weak to seek revenge for their own shortcomings. The smallest. The one with low self esteem. The oblivious. The sad. The sweet.
Utilizing the soonest opportunity, they use whatever power they feel they have to forcefully violate an innocent victim’s personal, mental and emotional boundaries and basic human rights.
How do they feel once they finish and walk away? Victorious? Proud? Is there any sliver of guilt?
And what are the side effects for women crawling away? Shame. Self-loathing. Depression. Psychological damage. Psychotherapy. Physical pain, bruising, bleeding. A doctor’s visit, tests, emergency costs. Antibiotics. Pain relievers. Taking work off. Becoming introverted through self-loathing depression. Fear.
So. Much. Fear.
Again we face the demon of fear. It creeps in like a cancer, venomously shutting down our sense of freedom. Are we safe in a parking lot? At a bar? When it’s dark? In our own car? In our own home? Without the protection of someone else? One by one, our independence fades to phobia, questioning and second guessing every move we make, every desire we have, every choice we take.
The fear is the problem. The fear is paralysis. The fear is optional.
Fear is a choice. Any state of being in which we exist, is a conscious decision we can either live within, or go without. We choose if we wish to seek strength to step outside of the worry and dismay and revulsion.
Fear is a space in which we decide we live, by capitulating to its allure through rapid-release firecrackers and stress bombs.
But fear is an illusion of being, which is built by the ego in our mind, when we feel the brunt of trauma and don’t want to get burned again. What we must choose in these moments of panic is the mirror modality; the mirror modality is a defense mechanism against our own psyche to draw attention to our thought patterns, with the intent of simply recognizing where and how we’re going off the rails through objectification. There is no judgment involved, here - only understanding. By being sympathetic to our own thoughts, and acknowledging the growth we intended for our deepest soul through the initial cosmic choices set out by our Highest Self before coming into this skin suit, we acknowledge that we are not victim to our thoughts.
We are not suffering because of something that has happened to us.
We are not pawns in someone else’s playfield.
Every day we are faced with choices. The option to go left, right, here, there, stay home, be productive, interact or ignore, step-up or run for the hills. Telling yourself repeatedly that this is something you did not choose, it happened to you uninvitedly, is an affirmation of denial that you are in control.
Let me be clear, I am not stating that assault is something you had control over but you let it happen to you anyway. What I am saying, is that whatever choices you make post-trauma, are your choices. That is your power. That is where your dynamism lies - not in docile, yielding behaviors that only serve to drill you further into the pity-pit. This is the tough stuff. This is where that feeling of difficulty really arises and tempts you to sink instead of swim.
I once read that gratitude and fear are not capable of coexisting.
While I am definitely not grateful for the brute who fucked me against my will, I find gratitude within the grace of how I have allowed it to propel and inspire me to be bigger with my energy and my intentions. To quit thinking, seeing, acting and playing small.
To transform something hideous into something of encouraging gallantry.
To overcome and outgrow the habitual pattern of playing victim and launch into the role of warrior of my own presence. We consistently have interactions whereby we consciously choose how we are affected in one way or another; we also have the means to decide who we are through those choices, and live with how those choices define the subsequent days every day. Others may interact with us, but we have the opportunity of good fortune to live with ourselves in every moment. It is a blessing to be able to have a mind whereby we can designate how we remain affected by something or someone, and in which direction we launch ourselves.
I would rather live in a state of gratitude through appreciation of understanding how and why my experiences and choices have evolved my soul.
I feel thankful and more peaceful through taking those learnings and appropriating them to expand my consciousness.
I vow to accept my choices as learnings which have no other purpose but to benefit and expand my spirit to the greatest good and not through fear.
Choosing fear is actively doing yourself a disservice through insult to what you deserve and what you feel you are ready to accept.
I vow to accept, respect, appreciate, acknowledge and understand myself, no matter how much time, tenacity, control or concentration it takes. Because I deserve only love, positivity and respect - from myself, first and foremost. Everything and everyone else is secondary.
Throughout our lifetime, we face all sorts of situations that wake us up, alter our perception of the world, and lend us guidance as we navigate the waters of who we truly believe we are.
I believe I am
Courageous + Deserving + Invaluable
Powerful + Magnificent + Radiant
Magic + Luminous + Gifted
Prolific + Unstoppable + Infinite
Through our words, we affirm our worth.
Through our beliefs, we confirm our story.
Through our intentions, we define our identity.
Word I am word, through my intentions, word I am word.
Thursday was an average day: take the dog for a walk, pick up some groceries, do a bit of laundry, stop in to grab a coffee on the way home. It then got interestingly average - A man approached, who evidently spent the last several minutes lurking nearby with nervous anticipation, waiting for my S/O to step outside the local coffee shop to uninvitedly invade my space.
*I’ll note that it was one week before Halloween, and that I was wearing an orange sweater, denim shorts and ankle boots - because it’s stupidly relevant.
The encounter played out as follows:
Total stranger sidles up next to me at an uncomfortable distance, forcing himself to have a sense of relaxed body language.
STRANGER: I thought you were dressed up for Halloween or something... it looks like an outfit.
ME: (eyebrow raised, caught off guard, unenthused) Sorry?
STRANGER: (refusing to take a hint and give up) I guess you would have to be like a pumpkin... (judgingly stares at my sweater, legs)
ME: (analyzing his bloated face, I reply apathetically) I guess so.
STRANGER: (third attempt, desperately rambling) So, how old are you? I'm trying to figure it out I know you're not this old but you look 12.
ME: (Right, pedophile. I try deciphering - compliment or insult?) I'm 26.
STRANGER: (dramatically aghast) OH WOW! I would never have thought that old, well that's amazing, that's a great thing, to look so... young...(leering)
All I could think was, Well you look like you're 56 trying to look 36 with botched botox and revolting lip injections, but I don't need to go out of my way to let you know, dickhead.
But instead, as most girls do as they’re subjected to this kind of harassment, I shuffled to the side, redirected my attention and continued to shoot him some very clear talk to me ONE more time... energy, bracing myself for him to escalate so I could loudly call him out. Finally, in what felt like twenty minutes later, my coffee arrived, and I walked out in a huff.
This was definitely not the first time this has happened to me - not even the first time that week. I started to wonder at what point the instinct triggers in this kind of man’s head where he feels a sense of obligation to impede on a complete stranger’s space - and let me be clear, for when I say stranger, I mean that the chosen stranger is almost always a woman. I know of no women who have ever done this to a man - it’s inappropriate, it’s unwarranted, it’s offensive, it feels primitive and savage and crude and - for lack of a better term - it leaves you feeling totally gross.
Let me explain what this type of interaction makes a woman go through: it’s offensive because of the context - not only am I being drawn in, forced to deal with you because I feel obligated to confront you as politely as I can muster to tell you to get the fuck out of my face, but you are inadvertently insulting me, simply so you can guarantee any sort of reaction --- because in your mind, that’s the game.
It should be noted that I didn’t even want to write this article, much less the examples, because I really don’t want to give credence to these idiots by perpetuating their vibration, as it’s really a waste of where I’d like to expend my energy. But the more I thought about it, the more I recognized that what’s not a waste of energy is calling it like it is, informing these types of guys that, We see you. You are not a mystery, you are not invited, you are not coy. And to further inform fellow subjected women that, this happens to everyone, and you have no obligation to deal with it. You SHOULD feel free to call them out and flip the spotlight on them, or stonewall them out and let them know in very clear body language that they have been heard, acknowledged, and you are making a conscious choice to remove yourself from the situation (Not that this type of psychology should even be necessary when you’re merely trying to order a coffee, pick up your groceries, or fill the car up with fucking gas).
However, I am not the type of person to simply remove myself from a situation without some seriously vocal repercussions. There is a common misconception that because I am small, I will refuse to stand up for myself and am therefore an easy target. I’m pocket sized, which by definition places me directly in the center of harm’s way for picking up or picking on.
(Can I pause for a moment to let you know that I have actually physically been picked up by a complete stranger in a bar? And a separate time at a University gathering? Sit with that for a minute and tell me you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with rage with this amount of boundary-crossing.)
The men in question are always surprised at the feisty shitstorm I rain down on every single one of them - despite my inner fear alarm reminding me that things could go sideways by speaking out.
I have stopped in the middle of the road to yell back at men who whistle and yell expletives from their cars.
I have had a man shove me into my own car, forcing me down onto him, having preyed on me weeks before, due to my stature.
I have had a man pull his beat-up murder van onto the sidewalk beside me in an attempt to take me with him, following me until I threw myself onto the hood of a neighbor’s moving car (the police later questioned me if he could have mistaken me for a prostitute - I’ll let you know I was in baggy sweats at 7AM, and the officer in question was a woman).
I have also been stalked as an eight year old walking home from school by the local ice cream man, who wound up spending most of his life in prison after they found a child around my age in his truck.
Perhaps it is because I have been accosted so many times, for so many years and at so many varying degrees, I feel that I have a very real and very honest platform to stand on, proclaiming my stories to the masses, and further, to let these fuckwits know ahead of time that they will get verbally destroyed if they even throw some side-eye.
What I refuse to give them is fear. I will always speak out, I will always yell loudest. The fear is what breeds this barbaric excitement in the first place, so it mustn’t even be given the chance to breathe at the start. How can I, or anyone else, feel empowered if we allow them to feel welcome to further continue their creep-streak onto other unsuspecting victims?
Awareness breeds power; the more you can recognize the signs and symptoms of this type of behavior, the easier it becomes to comfortably shut it down, in whatever way you see fit, retaining that lioness power and remaining a public Goddess like you should be, dammit. No one is allowed into your bubble without your approval or invitation.
There is a book called The Game, which is essentially the sociopathic douchebag’s playbook to being the ultimate piece of shit. Inside its pages, men are called to action on ways to approach women so that even if you’re saying something offensive, and she retaliates, the bottom line is at least you're getting her to interact with you. The psychology behind it is disgusting, and the more research you do, the more examples you can recall almost instantly of how many times you’ve been subject to its handiwork. He delves into the highs of betraying a woman’s trust, all the while promoting his homoerotic fashion sense in a term he coined “peacocking” - again, to gain attention and stand out from the normal non-threatening men and lure in a victim. Feel free to Google him and find terms attached to his name including “soul crushing” or “despicable”, which seem far too generous.
Here are some more cliff notes for your leisure:
The author (self proclaimed “professional womanizer”) bases his stories off of sexual conquests as a game to get women to do anything and everything you could ever want (like molding a Romanian girlfriend up to his standards by convincing her to get a boob job, give him blow jobs (which she had never previously done), taking a job as a stripper, until he ultimately broke up with her because she couldn’t fit his mold), and said the only downside of being a pick-up artist was “getting caught” by your other girlfriends.
How to profit from women’s insecurities by using any sort of reaction from a girl as a positive - hey, at least she’s reacting to you! - and further force her into conversation. The importance of ignoring her or openly treating her terribly.
Insulting a woman to lower her perceived social value.
Cockblocking male competition while “escalating” with verbal cues and subtle “kinesthetic” touching in an attempt to get a woman in the mood.
“Negging” women: dropping subtle insults into a conversation to lower a girl’s social value in relation to yours, by offending them in “reverse complement” style. Essentially, they are urged to discreetly undermine a woman’s esteem by giving her a backhanded compliment hoping that she’ll stick around to seek your approval. EX: “You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb - all curled up.”
Example number two: I get dressed in some shorts, a tee shirt and boots that are about knee-length. Do not mistake me, I do not look like a dominatrix. I look chic like Taylor fucking Hill in all her Victoria’s Secret Angel glory. I arrive at another coffee shop (clearly this is the 50 year old’s hang out for seeking young women) and place my order. My man and our dog were a few feet away, I was standing near the counter awaiting coffees. A stranger stands opposite the counter of me, I can feel his eyes burning into my skin as he tries to contain his erection and I try to contain my impulse of throwing hot beverages.
STRANGER: (eyebrows raised, leaning in on one arm like he’s the fucking Most Interesting Man in The World) Those are some mighty high boots for such a hot day.
ME: (deliberately directing my attention with daggers) What was that?
STRANGER: (testing his skills, speaking louder) I said, those are some mighty high boots for such a hot day (pause) It's hot outside.
ME: (feigning politeness) It's not hot.
STRANGER: (cue Donald Trump nod) It's pretty hot for boots like that... (openly looks me up and down, spends extra seconds scanning my crotch)
I said nothing, instead I stared at him with a firm glare and gradually made the few steps sideways to hand my boyfriend his coffee. Instantly, Rico Suave shifted nervously, attempting to mentally retract his entire interaction.
Here’s one of my biggest issues with behaviors like these: why did this fuckhead feel so comfortable in trying to catch me out and put me on the spot so that I feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but when he recognizes I’m with another man, he suddenly becomes aware of how inappropriate he has been? How come there isn’t an embedded "Bad Idea, Bro" trigger already ingrained in his psyche? Furthermore, why the hell am I assumed to just put up with your creepiness?
Something else I’d like to address is how and why me dressing for myself every morning (simply because I live, breathe and love fashion and have been part of its industry for 12+ years) suddenly becomes an invitation for a man with these ethics of indecency to:
Comment at all on my appearance or apparel with any sort of ow you doin'? undertone
Openly slam any part of my outfit or appearance
Stare at me like he wants to fuck me as he slices my throat open like Lady Gaga in American Horror Story
Feel the opportunity requires him to HAVE to say something, because obviously if I’m wearing something bright, short, high-waisted, or anything that demonstrates I feel confident, my only reasoning behind getting dressed in the morning is to receive unsolicited shame or commentary from men with verbal dysentery 20-30 years my senior.
I feel it's important that I also make a side note here. I really, truly, honestly appreciate when I receive genuine compliments - from anyone. If someone wants to mention how much they love my jacket, and it comes from a place of sincerity, I am so grateful for those moments and for that person to feel comfortable enough saying something and will gladly open the floor for conversation. But make no mistake, there is a very clear line in body language, tonality, and direct verbiage that deviates between a legitimate compliment and an insulting “pick up line” geared only to rip apart my already-presumed-fragile esteem level.
I have to question them internally as my compassion gears flare off throughout those initial moments, wondering what he could be going through, searching for a deeper reason or a logical answer. I only took Psychology 101, so I really can’t determine what goes through the mind of a man with no morals.
My inner dialogue asks: Is he nervous? Is this something hard for him to do because he’s twice shy in approaching women? --- No, that would be on the other side of the line, in genuine compliment territory. Okay, so he must be assuming this is a really great way to get a woman’s phone number. Maybe he wants to belittle me because he feels insecure in life. Or there’s the possibility that he really thinks that by offending me, I’m inevitably going to strip down and suck his dick.
Because that’s exactly what his cocksure attitude is displaying: that sense of I own you.
Well guess what, asshole? I am not a sex object. I am not something to be conquered. You don’t own me. You don’t even know me. I am not your baby. I am not “love”, I am not “sweetheart”, I am not “cute one” --- yes, that was used recently while I was at work, in tandem with the phrase, "Easy is my middle name." Right. How about you calm down, put your backpack back on and get out of my face?
I have genuinely spent hours going through it all in my head, having conversations with girlfriends, trying to explain myself, my reasoning and my logic to the men in my life - which I feel like they don’t fully comprehend until they’re present for a front-row experience. The point is, this shit happens, and it happens a lot.
I would like to propose that we, as women, and as men respecting women, to raise our conscious vibration up to a level where we can stop making this a daily occurrence. I recognize that there are many problems and wrongs happening in the world, but this is one that can be solved one prick at a time, and all it takes is a little redirecting of attention. I don’t even want to get into the ManSplaining bullshit. With this new wave of Feminism and increase in women’s appreciation, the time is perfect to recognize that nobody would appreciate this type of behavior - whether it happened to their sister, their daughter, their friend, their wife, let alone themselves.
So I’m putting a call-out to my fellow females to please share your own experiences and empower one another to stand up for yourselves and withdraw from the game.
Do you have any stories of your own? PLEASE use this forum to share!
When dealing with emotional trauma or verbal abuse, I’ve noticed that many of us are less likely to take a stand for ourselves than we would for physical violence. Obviously when it comes to blows, we want to keep ourselves safe and not be beaten down - but what happens to our strength when it’s all happening in the subconscious realm? I think a part of our acceptance of mental abuse has to do with denial; perhaps because we aren’t able to see any scars or visible bruising, we can defend blindly that I would never let that happen to me state of mind. Yet, when someone is psychologically tearing us apart over time, no matter how subtle, despite our level of recognition, we are stubborn enough to refuse to accept (and believe) that we could be a victim of it. Thus, refusing to accept any form of responsibility, vulnerability, or retaliation. But what is it inside that then further allows us to accept and even defend the person inflicting the pain? We’ve all heard it before - He's really great when it's just the two of us. You don't know her like I do. He's only like this when he drinks. You're only letting the bad stuff stick out in your mind, it's not like I'm going to tell you each and every time he does something nice!
Okay, harp on all you want, sucker! And hey, I’ve been there. I’ve been the friend calling you up in the middle of the night in tears because “we just had another fight”, so I’m the first to admit guilt of prioritizing myself last. I’ll even say I didn’t even have myself on the list to begin with. But I’m wondering, why the fuck do we do that? Where does that lack of self-worth even stem from? Why is it that when love is the highest and strongest and most palpable vibration of energy, we refute the ability to direct it inwards where it should claim its safe haven? After all, it starts internally - we can’t properly share the wealth and spread the love without appropriately loving ourselves first and foremost! Yet I see it time and time again: that self-deprecating fear constantly whispering not to be selfish. After all, you don't deserve it as much as they do. Who do you think you are?
What - the - fuck. THIS NEEDS TO STOP! This endless cycle of self pity, self loathing, and worry that we’ll never be accepted if we finally release and let go of all that exterior showy bullshit and replace it with genuity, authenticity, and self appreciation. We should be celebrating ourselves.
This includes: the tiny wins, the big defeats, the milestones, the miniature moves, the boldness to dress however the hell we want, promotions, graduations, cutting a bad habit like smoking or biting your nails, learning to juggle or speak French, creating your first vlog, selling your first painting, moving out of your parents’ house, buying your own car, changing the tire on that car without any help, filing taxes solo for the first time, adopting a pet, taking a vacation, the list goes on and on and on, endlessly forever.
The point here is: there is so much more to celebrate than we actually celebrate. There doesn’t need to be a different day every other week of the year commemorating pancakes or doughnuts (albeit I am in full support of both of them). There needs to be a daily affirmation and show of gratitude and pride of our own defeats and strengths and wins. Why must we consistently focus on the bad, and accept that as our morning mantra? I wish I was taller. I want to dye my hair. I want smoother skin. I wish I was Behati Prinsloo. I want eyebrows like Cara Delevingne and Brooke Shields had a brow-baby. Right. Obviously, who the fuck wouldn’t? As much as I admire and obsess over these three women in particular, what I appreciate the most is how proudly they roar their independence, individuality, and that “I am a serious badass and I love myself” attitude. That’s what exudes the strongest, which is why we all gravitate to them in the first place! Nobody would even look twice if they were shying away from the camera, unsure of themselves, with extremely low self esteem exuding self-doubt. So why wouldn’t you be worthy enough to be your own best version of yourself? You owe it to yourself, you know. And further to that, why choose to dwell on the fact (or your own self-judgmental perception) that you wish you had tighter thighs and smaller bags beneath your eyes first thing in the morning, instead of appreciating how unique and beautiful and perfect you are? You were brought here with the purpose to love yourself, and achieve anything you want to aim at. Why aim to shoot yourself into the dirt?
I understand the argument that we are less able to see our surroundings when we’re right in the thick of it - but when you’re actually counting the reasons in your head in a Pro/Con list for why you should stay with your partner, it’s time to snap out of it, get a grip, and be a little more objective of yourself and think of life in the bigger-picture sense. Saying things like It's too hard or I don't know how or Where do I start? are just excuses to stay living an abysmal and dismal life. When you say things like hard (I hate this word), you’re actually making it harder on yourself - you are creating the perception that it’s too difficult to even start, or even start to THINK about starting, and then you wind up just telling everyone how hard everything is, wondering why they don’t want to catch up for coffee and listen to you whine and complain anymore. By actively choosing to refuse to acknowledge yourself as an astonishing, sacred beam of light who should be treated with the utmost respect, love, and gratitude, you are doing yourself the biggest disservice of all. I’ll say it again - it starts inside. If you don’t love and cherish yourself, you are setting the standard (not to mention sending off the vibration) for everyone else to treat you like the dirt; and, congratulations, you’ve landed exactly where you aimed, probably wondering why this keeps happening to you, how you always end up here, as if it’s not your fault, and why nobody loves you. And then the same circle continues on and on and on and on, until you’re eighty and angry at the world, likely with scoliosis and some form of cancer. I promise you, the more miserable you choose to make each day, and the more crap you’re willing to put up with and accept as your “Normal”, you are persistently stating your claim that this is what you deserve, and you’re only attracting more and more crap to you.
Which is why when I met a woman who worried herself sick for so many years finally breathed a sigh of relief because “Oh I was just diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew I was going to get it, it runs in my family”, I had to stop her with a serious WTF moment, because why on earth would you exist every single day assuming and almost hoping you would be next in line for this disease?! I couldn’t help but think that if she spent as much energy as she did swimming in the pool of fear and worry, so confident in proving herself right, and instead channeled that toward something productive and positive that she could be proud of, she would be in a completely different physical and mental state right now. She literally manifested her own destiny and built her own reality based off of her own determination - she just chose the negative. Why?! The big underlying problem here, is that no one is aware they are doing it until they “become enlightened” or aware of themselves. Self awareness isn’t top of the charts in most people’s books mainly because the concept itself feels tricky to get the groove of, but with a shift of mindset, the more you practice and accept being vulnerable, aware and objective, the most you’ll get the hang of it and feel comfortable with yourself. But perpetuating the belief that “It’s hard” and “I can’t” will only further cement your determination to stay in the shit pool. And you’ll probably end up happy in some twisted, demonic way that you proved yourself right, secretly hating your life.
Does this sound fun to anyone else?
“Mere color, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways.” [Oscar Wilde]
Colours are a form of communication that can instantly set the tone just by glancing at it - whether it’s depicting your mood, conveying emotions, invoking physiological reactions, or inspiring people to get up and do something, when we harness the right color-emotion it leaves a strong effect.
I was once told by a shaman / psychic / yogi that when doing self-work, when you're wanting to channel all of your focus into one zone (or one chakra area) that you want to improve, you should also match the tones of clothing you wear to match said color that depicts that chakra. By wearing certain hues, you'll be reminded of exactly what you want to work on.
If we can align our emotions with a particular colour, it’s easier for us to remember what it represents to us. For example, if our heart chakra is the one we want to adjust, wearing shades of pink or red to represent love and compassion can help our mindfulness.
Quick Chakra Guide:
ROOT - grounding, stability, physical needs, security, survival, manifestation, material world
SACRAL - emotions, relationships, sexuality, self worth, creativity, empathy
SOLAR PLEXUS - personal power, will, energy, metabolism, effectiveness, self esteem, social identity, happiness
HEART - love, understanding, trust, hope, openness, compassion, balance, forgiveness
THROAT - communication, sound, vibration, self expression, listening, speaking, writing
THIRD EYE - psychic ability, channeling, telepathy, astral travel, visions, connection to higher self
CROWN - universal consciousness, all knowing, cosmic connection, enlightenment
Certain colours are said to bring certain emotions. In using certain crystals in jewelry, meditation, or keeping particular stones by your bedside or simply in your pocket, you can then instantly associate each stone with what you're feeling. In order to help for quick referencing, I needed to figure out which crystal to pick up to best suit what area on the Chakra Guide I wanted to improve at any given time.
I’ve laid out my list for which colours represent which energy, effects and feelings below and then coordinated them with how they are associated with each crystal and chakra. I hope it helps you as much as it's helped me!
WHITE : All Chakras
Energy: universal energy
Positive Emotions: purity, fresh, clean, innocence
Negative Emotions: isolation, emptiness
Selected Stone: clear quartz, aura quartz
VIOLET : Crown
Positive Emotions: royalty, spirituality, nobility, luxury, ambition, wealth
Negative Emotions: moodiness, mysterious
Selected Stone: amethyst, lepidolite
TURQUOISE : Heart
Positive Emotions: spirituality, healing, serenity
Negative Emotions: envy
Selected Stone: turquoise
BLUE : Throat / Third Eye
Energy: communication, intuition
Effects: soothing, connecting
Positive Emotions: tranquility, security, integrity, loyalty, trust, intelligence, peace
Negative Emotions: fear, coldness, sadness
Selected Stone: celestite, lapis lazuli
GREEN : Heart
Energy: spontaneity, love
Effects: refreshing, harmonizing
Positive Emotions: environmentality, fresh perspectives, newness, money, fertility, nature
Negative Emotions: jealousy, guilt, greed
Selected Stone: peridot, emerald
YELLOW : Solar Plexus
Energy: mental alertness
Positive Emotions: brightness, energy, warmth, happiness, intellect, bravery
Negative Emotions: irresponsibility, instability, cowardice
Selected Stone: topaz
ORANGE : Sacrum
Positive Emotions: courage, confidence, friendliness, success
Negative Emotions: ignorance, sluggishness, psychosis, suspicion
Selected Stone: amber, citrine
PINK : Heart
Energy: unconditional love
Positive Emotions: happy, healthy, sweet, compassionate, playful
Negative Emotions: weakness, immaturity, femininity
Selected Stone: rose quartz
RED : Root
Energy: take action
Positive Emotions: love, passion, power, strength, desire
Negative Emotions: anger, danger, hatred
Selected Stone: garnet, carnelian
BROWN : Root
Positive Emotions: outdoors, longevity, friendly
Negative Emotions: conservative, dogmatic
Selected Stone: smokey quartz
BEIGE : Root
Energy: connected to the earth
Positive Emotions: dependable, crisp, flexible
Negative Emotions: dull, boring
Selected Stone: honey calcite
GREY / CLEAR : Third Eye
Positive Emotions: security, reliability, intelligence, solid
Negative Emotions: gloomy, sad, confusion
Selected Stone: labradorite
BLACK : Root
Energy: universal mystery
Positive Emotions: protection, elegance, dramatic, classy, formality
Negative Emotions: mystery, death, evil, corruption
Selected Stone: obsidian, black tourmaline
SILVER : Third Eye
Energy: inner knowledge
Positive Emotions: glamorous, tech-savvy, graceful, sleek, magical
Negative Emotions: non-committal, indecisive
Selected Stone: shungite
GOLD : Crown
Energy: self worth
Positive Emotions: prosperity, valuable, traditional, wisdom
Negative Emotions: egotistical, self-righteous
Selected Stone: pyrite, copper
I think I’ve mentioned it before, but I have a real love-hate relationship with stuff.
It's what I like to define as the Poetry of Material Things: the ebb and flow that pulls and weaves us all (because I'm certain you, too, have been involved in this love affair) back and forth between wanting - and sometimes "NEEDING" - things, and then tossing what's left over after I redecorate every few months.
On one hand, I’m a very serious nester. There are so many things I've found over the years that have become a part of my collection, so when people walk into my house for the first time, say "Oh this is completely Margaux. No one else could live here." I mean, I get so excited about them and love to fill my space with beautiful things, things I’m obsessed with -- without cluttering it up.
On the other hand, I’ve got this thing for simplicity and open, airy spaces. It’s a give and take when it comes to decorating, and this doesn’t just mean with your home. The same goes for your closet. Your cupboards. Your beauty products. Your car. All the space surrounding you, and the space within. There’s some sense to that “happy wife happy life” saying, if I can go so far as to stretch it to that which surrounds you, affects everything else until it fills you. Thus: if you’ve got a hoarding situation where there’s all sorts of junk spilling out of every nook and cranny, you’re going to feel overwhelmed on the inside and like your life is as messy as your apartment.
But, if everywhere you turn you see beautiful things - investments, memories, pieces you are absolutely married to that make you happy to see, you’re going to feel pretty damn great about life before you’ve even left the house. Which, if we're being honest, is most important overall.
There’s nothing that makes me quite as excited as hanging a new piece of artwork or receiving a box of shoes in the mail. I’m not going to preach and pretend like I don’t love things. HOWEVER - and maybe it’s just that spring cleaning mentality talking out loud here - there’s a limit. A very fine line teetering between an elegant or expensive or chic living space (surrounded by beautiful things, filled with amazing products, and a very satisfied y-o-u); and the overcrowded, junked up, too-many-things-on-the-counter space.
If you can’t wake up with a clear mind and a relaxed state of being, there’s something wrong. Maybe it’s time to clean out that entryway closet that’s hard to close. Or give some of those clothes away that you’ve not worn in 7 or 8 years. Besides, when you clear the space and open it up, you’re automatically creating a gap to fill (if you wish) for beautiful new things.
And that’s just the key for unlocking the dance of it all: if you follow the rhythm of overhauling the old and welcoming the new, everything in your life will get better as you clear that extra space in your head.
So recently I received a message in my inbox from one of my followers through Instagram. Over the last year or so we’ve both admired each other’s work, lighting up that little red heart and occasionally sending a comment or two, until this beautiful soul took the time to ask for some advice and really connect. As I read through it, line by line, I felt so touched, and humbled, and astonished… I’ve helped to change someone’s life. That feels incredible, and I’m so honored. But hang on - Who am I to be offering life advice? I had to stop myself there: who is anyone to be offering help? We’re all doing our best at experiencing life. The question more lies in whether we’re actually vulnerable enough in those moments to open up, or “too proud” or uncomfortable in our own accomplishments to really feel worthy of passing on our learnings to help others move forward. She wrote how important it is for people - for women, to be having these types of conversations, and that really stayed with me. This recent feminist revolution that women are taking to really support and lift each other up is so inspiring and important for society. I don’t mean that in the form of the extreme, when I say the F word, I assure you --- I’m not thinking about the chicks who have gone so far to run a marathon with blood flowing freely down their legs. I mean, equally, we are all humans. We are all existing, experimenting, exploring… how do we get so caught up in the self-indulging of shallow wants that we have refused to reach out to one another? In this feminism turnpoint, I’ve seen so many women - famous to friends - be at the forefront of really pushing and motivating one another, saying “I’ve got your back, and you got this!”
I guess as women, we’re naturally thought of to be more vulnerable and open with our emotions in allowing our inner selves to be presented on the outside, whereas men are usually more proud or afraid to expose that to each other so openly. But that’s fine, have it your way - we’ll just continue to extend the olive branches and blow the wind beneath each other’s sails to actually connect on a real scale to support each other along the journey. It’s not a competition. So many go-getters, especially in this City, see everyone else as their competitors who they can’t let get ahead of them. Why not just extend the offer or lend a hand when someone needs it just because it feels good, and maybe - just maybe, that karmic circle that revolves around us all will swing back around and reward you (if you need another reward outside of being kind to others). Just sayin’.
So then we got on the topic of the action of DO-ing. And not just talking about doing, but actually putting thoughts into motion instead of wasting so much time yammering on about it or “figuring out if it’s the right thing” and sitting in an indecisive corner while the world continues to chug ahead around you. Meanwhile, you’re sitting there nervously wondering if you should hop in and go for the ride or stay out of the way of brilliance, ass firmly stuck in the chair. I’ve said it before and I will say it over and over: not choosing is a choice. Not choosing to move forward, to do something else, to stop deciding if you “should” choose, is a choice in and of itself. I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen? You get a little bit stressed about the rent? That’s gonna come up anyway, you know you’ve had those moments with your ‘regular job’ even though you always say you have it because it’s just meant to pay the bills while you ‘pursue your passion’ (which also leads us all - you, most importantly, to believe that you have to struggle to do what you love). So I say, why not have both? Of course you can keep that boring job if you’re happy enough doing it and you genuinely are making leaps and bounds outside of work. If you’re really advancing yourself creatively doing whatever it is you want to do and you can happily manage both, then Great! Congratulations. I admire you. But if you’re like I was, losing all energy at the end of each work day wondering why you’re still doing it and how it’s gotten this far, I’m genuinely asking: Why don’t you feel you can have a job where you do what you want? Or is it that you feel you don’t deserve it? After all - if you’re going to fuss over finances anyway, you might as well get creative in finding ways to hustle and make it work! Besides, all you’re doing in the meantime is fueling the belief to your subconscious that “I can’t do this” while the negative thoughts circulate your deepest Self and you continue to stay existing on the same level as you did when you had that shitty old job.
I know so many people who fill their lives with: “I should”... “I want to”... “I need to”... “I wish I”... and never leave the end of that sentence without a “but”. And usually, I’d say every time - it’s driven by fear and worry of failing or “not knowing what it’ll be like” because it’s different to what they’ve grown comfortable with (and tired of). So they’d rather stay miserable in the predictable, than flourish in the unknown. These little verbal habits we’ve gotten used to saying really take hold of our mindset on a cellular level, and can be so easily changed to: “I will”, “I am”, and most often, swapping a “but” with an “and”.
When reflecting on it, I can’t think of a time in life so far where I’ve been faced with a choice between staying average, or doing something scary, and wound up feeling like “maybe that wasn’t worth it.” The fear of the What If and “how is this gonna turn out?” has always been rewarded by that exhilarating feeling of adrenaline when you really release and allow yourself the permission to just GO FOR IT! To do whatever it is you want to do to actually free your soul and give your life some serious purpose. Why sit around being bored five out of seven days of the week? To the point where you’re so drained that on your two days off you couldn’t even be bothered to do the laundry or get off the couch? Is. This. A. Life Worth Living? Is this a life on purpose? Are you living it WITH purpose? Are you simply existing on autopilot? No matter which way you look at it, at the end of your life, however much structure and planning and organizing you do, you never have a clue of how it’s going to end up anyway. Curveballs come out of left field, every time. Shit can go sideways in a matter of months, days, minutes - why not quit wasting time doing mundane boring stuff that makes your life feel like Groundhog Day? It moves much too quick to waste time deciding. I feel lucky enough to have had those few key voices suggesting I shut the indecision up and listen to myself.
Sure, being your own cheerleader and fanning your own flames can be tricky, but it doesn’t need to be one of those things you assign the “hard” label. Assuming it’s going to be hard is only going to make it more hard than it ever needs to be. Treat it like a game, like an adventure, like it’s fun, and it will be. And if you’re not going to back yourself, who the hell will? We’re so afraid of being judged or called out for celebrating our wins, that we just become our own enemy. Keep yourself in your own corner, and never feel guilty about that Bragalog, damnit! If you’ve just made major leaps and bounds, HELL YEAH, Go you! Grab a celebratory cocktail with your girlfriends. Did you quit your 9-5 to become a Yoga instructor and travel to India? FUCK YES, time for a relaxing beach day! And tell people about it! Get excited! Never apologize for celebrating those life altering moments where you chose to live a life you’ll love. Be proud of yourself --- I am! Your view of yourself is the perceptively most difficult to sway and let live in the positive; and yet, when you’re determined, zoning in on what you want to do (which is most exciting when it’s something you’ve never ventured into), really amazing things will happen - and you’ll astonish the fuck out of yourself.
Don’t let those friends who think life has a formula in which to live by influence you. Don’t fear the directional change you’ve taken just because most people surrounding you refuse to veer off course. They are not living your life. You are. Your life, your rules. And if you don’t want rules, screw ‘em. Do whatever you want. The more you focus on you and your goals, you’ll start reflecting on all the goals you’re kicking over - which is followed by some serious esteem boosters. Which leads to more motivation. Which leads to more goal-kicking. It’s a vicious circle a hell of a lot more fun than the hamster wheel you were on before! I promise. Quit questioning yourself and instead challenge yourself to have the adventure you WANT. By moving forward and committing to work load for Your Life’s Adventure, you’re now moving your own wheels and creating your own momentum, instead of cranking the gears for another corporate company that doesn’t give you anything in return. This is for You. What’s more important than that?
Crystals come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and hues; but It's no wonder that the ones I've been most drawn to are those that are cotton-candy colored -- their pale pastel pink and blue undertones draw me in for a super sacred lull, filling my home with a gentle, etherial energy with physical beauty to match!
Behold, the mystical cubism of Pink Halite: this salmon colored geometric beauty is used for self love and empowerment, while promoting a healthy lifestyle that encourages personal clarity and cleansing on all fronts. Its underside crystalized like pink Himalayan sea salt, Halite harmonizes your heart and solar plexus chakras, allowing that openness to love yourself and clean up your spiritual and physical environment (including unhealthy habits, relationships, incomplete projects, etc).
One of my favorite ménage à trois is this magical combination of Danburite, Stilbite, and Apophyllite.
Apophyllite (left), has a high vibration created to raise your spirits and spiritually charge your being with loads of positivity by infusing your light-body with high vibration energy to open you up to that spiritual awakening you crave. Apophyllite is superb for stress-relief, as well as aiding tension and anxiety as their flow of spiritual light brings hope for the future and allows you to release that negative thought pattern that's holding you back. Careful, may help you to feel calmer, more relaxed, and happier within yourself!
Danburite (center), is a highly spiritual healing stone with a gentle yet powerful ability to open up your crown chakra while attuning it with your heart chakra to open you up not only in your head, but in your heart. It carries a very sweet and pure energy, vibrating with an extremely uplifting energy to the spirit. Danburite allows you to operate on a higher consciousness from a heart-based perspective.
Stilbite (right - also pictured on Apophyllite), has a wonderful, spiritual energy, most often used for psychic guidance and intuition as it activates the Third Eye, and also focuses heavily on learning acceptance, letting go, manifestation and creativity. Stilbite carries a fine, loving vibration, and helps with spiritual travel as you enter a deeper mediative state while simultaneously raising your consciousness of universal love.
Now these little babies are known as Angel Aura Quartz, and I can never get enough of their Fairy - Unicorn - Magic beauty, as rainbows reflect from them in every direction. Angel Aura is a crystal of high spiritual energy as well. It is very helpful for protecting, balancing, and bringing energetic health to your aura, in addition to gently raising Kundalini energy. Use this in meditation and you'll find some guidance on finding the proper course of action for the next steps in your life, as it connects you to angelic communication, communication with your Higher Self, and sourcing that inner wisdom from that crown chakra.
I always, always have Selenite (top left). It is an essential for the Crystal Beginner Pack, and I find that I come home with one piece, at least, a month. Selenite connects you to the ultimate divine light for personal transformation, and work with you through meditation to bring that light down from the higher realms in opening up your crown chakra and soul star chakra. Selenite delivers clarity of mind by ridding your aura of negative energy build up, and connects you with your Spirit Guides. I feel connected to my guides further and further the more I buy of it and the more frequently I use it in meditation.
The bottom left chunk is a little treasure I found in Northern Australia, and it's a combination of Aquamarine and Pink Tourmaline, which, when combined, bring eternal youth and happiness, peace and love, while connecting us with the Divine. It exudes love and protection, especially against negativity (tourmaline is a big one for that), and accesses both the heart and throat chakras, which allows the bearer to act as a channel for spiritual guidance, and fearlessly speak the truth of one's own Soul experience in a way that communicates loving wisdom to others.
Now for the pink pillar on the right - this is a Quartz point, which somehow has a built in ombre effect as it fades from clear, to milky white, to beautiful rose quartz at the base. I was wandering through the narrow Chinatown streets in San Francisco and happened to pop into a little shop where an enormous amethyst cathedral was sitting in the window. After speaking to the saleswoman about my infatuation for stones, she pulled me into her back warehouse that was dimly lit except for spotlights on each shelf that were packed, and I mean packed with beauty. I spotted this guy waaaay in the back and knew it was mine.
Clear Quartz, being one of the most common stones on earth, carries a very high vibration. They resonate strongly within the soul star chakra, as the white light of the white ray is your connection to the Divine Mind and aids in your connection with the spirit. Of course, it also resonates with both the third eye and the crown chakras. Rose Quartz is known as the love stone, as it vibrates unconditional love, joy, warmth, and healing, with a powerful energy for your heart chakra and higher heart chakra for compassion.